Tower of Babel Forum

Artinum · Zapper Beiträge: 184

I had to try this. Here is the result courtesy of FreeTranslation.com:
(PS: I've heard this once before somewhere, in remarkably less pidgin English, but this adds a whole new dimension of silliness!)

Artinum.

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It can the christmas man really geben?...

1. No well known species of the species pensioner can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms, that yet must be classified, and although it concerns at the same time haupsächlich insects and bacteria, this does not exclude flying Rentiere with last security, that only the christmas man saw previously.

2. There are 2 billions of children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT there the christmas man (apparently) no moslem, Hindu, Jews and Buddhisten supplies, reduces itself its work on about 15% the total number - 378 million children (according to census office). In an average children number of 3.5 per household yields that 91.8 million houses. We suppose that in each house at least a fine child lives.

3. The christmas man has a 31-Stunden-Weihnachtstag, stipulated through the different time zones, if he travels from East to west (what logically appears). Therewith 822.6 visits arise per second. Therefore the christmas man has 1/1000 second time for each Christian household with fine children for its work: parking out of which sleds jump, that chimney runterklettern extirpate, that fill socks, that distribute remaining gifts among the christmas tree, all remained remainders of the christmas meal, that chimney again raufklettern fly and to the next house. Supposed that each of these 91.8 million stop are uniform on the entire earth distributed (what natural, how we know, does not agree, but as a calculation base accept we this), receive we now 1.3 km of distance from household to household, a total distance of 120.8 million km, not included the interruptions for that, what must do each of us at least once in 31 hours, plus meal etc.. that means, that the sled of the christmas man 1040 km per second flies, therefore the 3.000-fachen sound speed. To the comparison: the fastest vehicle constructed by persons on the earth, that Ulysses Space sample, goes with laughable 43.8 km per second. A pensioner usual creates at most 24 km per HOUR.

4. The load of the sled leads to a further interesting effect. Supposed, gets each child no longer as a middle-sized Lego-Set (about 1 kg), loaded the sled a weight of 378,000 tons, not calculated the christmas man who is described concurring as overweight. A pensioner usual cannot pull more than 175 kg. Even in the acceptance that a pensioner" "flying (see point 1) can pull the TENFOLD normal weight, needs one for the sleds not eight or perhaps nine Rentiere. One needs 216,000 Rentiere. That increased the weight - the sled even not yet once included - on 410,400 tons. Once again to the comparison: that is more than the fourfold weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. 410,400 tons in a speed of 1040 km/s produced an enormous air resistance - through it the Rentiere aufgeheizt become, just as a spaceship that enters again into the earth atmosphere. The frontmost couple Rentiere must absorb through it 16.6 TRILLIONS Joule energies. Per second. Each. Differently expressed: they will rise practically immediately in flames, the next couple Rentiere is sacrificed the air resistance, and it will crack produced a more deafening. The total team of Rentieren becomes within 5 Tausendstel seconds vaporisiert. The christmas man is stopped währenddessen of an acceleration of the size of the 17.500-fachen earth acceleration. Christmas man heavy a 120 kg (what according to the description laughably few its must) would be nailed at the end of its sled - with a power by 20.6 million News sound.

Result: IF the christmas man brought sometime once the gifts, he is today dead.